Genevieve Feili... 的个人资料wandering in a vast lone...照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
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每天总有一段时间 关上门 不开灯 让自己沉浸在黑暗中 音乐里 好像吸一大口气 潜入游泳池底一样 坐在黑暗中 渐渐失去语言 失去自己 睡燈亮著 Carla Bruni 還在高聲歌唱 裹著毛巾的頭髮還在滴水 我像是電動玩具一樣 不知道甚麼時候被甚麼人按了開關 咚一聲 失去意識 沉 沉 睡 去 Welcome to My Library
I always want to have my own library or live nearby a library or live in a library even if it's a haunted library, i don't mind; as long as there are books and books and books I love. Welcome to My Library
I’m leaving又 要 起 飛 了
飛 到 一 個 寒 冷 的 國 度
一 個 人
井沒 有 網 路 像 打 不 開 被 封 死 的 窗 四 面 牆 六 坪 大 的 房 間 像 一 口 井 。 乾 我 枯 在 的 裡 井 面 ， ， 沒 深 有 深 水 的 沒 感 有 覺 光 到 死 存 去 在 的 又 井 模 。 糊 我 的 在 失 裡 去 面 。 ，和 發 條 鳥 先 生 一 樣 跌 入 了 一 種 無 盡 的 ， 飢 渴 的 像 獸 一 般 的 空 壞習慣睡不著就鬧人是從小跟著我長大的壞習慣。
小時候即使關上燈，還是會喋喋不休跟努力要讓我入睡的外婆講話，
通常是不斷重複或更換或交代明天要吃的喝的，從早餐午餐晚餐點心到宵夜，鉅細靡遺，彷彿是人生最後一餐。
外婆常常會嗯嗯喔喔的敷衍，有時用暴力威嚇，有時以食物利誘，偶爾會使出奇招。
後來表弟表妹一個接一個出生了，外婆就不只照顧我一個了。睡覺的時候，外婆總是睡在中間把我們隔開，怕我睡相不好踢傷了他們。
我總是在黑暗中悄悄用藤條抱枕玩弄他們，不讓他們睡覺，免不了會玩出火，被鞭幾下才泫然入睡。
今晚又失眠，可是同床的妹妹要考PMR了，為了不影響她，我決定把自己搞得很累很累再回去睡覺。
就講一個故事吧。
一次夜裡，我又開始點餐。婆問你為什麼不睡覺。我說我睡不著阿。眼睛嘴巴閉起來就好了啊。
...... 於是我照辦了，但是忍不住動來動去的。
我講一個故事給你聽，婆說，聽完了就要睡好來。
好啊， 你講啦。我心裡覺得很好奇又很高興，畢竟外婆很少講故事給我聽。
從前有一個小孩子，他很頑皮...
女的嗎?
嗯，和你一樣。
他很頑皮...
幾歲?
5歲，和你一樣。
叫什麼名字?
你先聽我講, 不要插嘴!
喔。
他很頑皮... 每天晚上都不肯早早睡覺...有一天晚上，他趁他的媽咪睡著後...
他和他的媽咪一起睡覺哦?
嘖! 你再插嘴我就不講了。
......
他的媽咪睡著後，他就自己偷偷爬起來去玩。突然他看見一個老太婆在吃東西，因為很香他就走過去問那個老太婆: 老婆婆，你在吃什麼啊?可以給一點我嗎?
那個老太婆就講: 不可以啊我吃的你不可以吃。他就問: 到底是什麼東西啊，為什麼我不可以吃？老太婆就講:因為都是一些不聽話不肯睡覺的小孩子。
原來那個是老巫婆，他講完以後就把那個小孩子也抓起來煮咖哩吃。從此以後，他的媽咪就找不到他了。
故事講完了，睡覺啦。
......
......(被子蒙頭)早抖婆婆。
wordless到底要有多黑暗多封閉 才會像這樣什麼話都說不出來
懶。
冬天來了 冬衣還沒有拿出來 夏天的心情都還沒整理呢 炎熱的午後 我來過這個暑假因為住的地方不方便用自己的電腦上網
所以 大家好一陣子都看不到我....
(還是你們根本就沒有發現 =..='')
不用說,我又搬到另外一個地方去住了...
一個很熱很熱很熱的地方
嘿嘿 可惜不是撒哈拉 不然我也可以寫個撒哈拉的故事不停流汗的駱駝
嗯 沒有網路的暑假 我在現實生活中到底做了甚麼?
首先是瘋世足,當然打工是每天例行的...還記的上個暑假多麼頹廢的像植物人一樣賴在沙發
之後才心不甘情不願的去打工....
唉 這種奢靡的日子不再, 這個暑假 我都一直在打工還有上課. 很大的對比吧.
也許是某種緣故, 也許是可以自由選擇科目的緣故
也別enjoy這短短的暑期課程, 出席率是99.99%
厲害吧
嗯 我目前在修的是西洋古典及中世界文化學程
剛剛上完初階古雅典希臘文I和西洋古典研究導論
嘿嘿 接下來是 初階古雅典希臘文ii和西洋中世紀研究導論
老師和同學們上課都超認真,
剛開始因為教古典希臘文的美國光頭老師和古典研究的丁修女十分有趣
很想開一組 夏天上課日記....發洩怨氣
只是每天都有數不盡的習題和文法和單字要寫要練習
( :(.....以前還不停的譏笑室友籠包 我知錯了)
還有一堆英譯經典文章得閱讀
我的生活每天過得多有氣質 大家可以想像吧.....
所以 我脫離了世俗的網路世界都是生活逼人啊
這一別 不知何年何月再見
保重了 電腦螢幕前的你 閱讀的意義有時候太難過 所以閱讀
看看別人的掙扎別人的痛苦別人的傷心別人的血和淚
讓自己淹沒在別人的故事當中
讓自己以為自己的眼淚是別人的自己的悲傷也是別人的以為這個世界都那麼無奈不是我單獨的無助
然後 就忘記了厭倦了睡著了
_ _ .PISCES WOMAN She likes to be in a dream world than to be in reality. She is weak and sensitive when it's come to "Love". She can cry if her best friend is breaking up, and she can be over excited when her friend gets a new boy friend who is a good looking and rich even it is nothing concerned her at all. You might be surprise to see that she is shy just because she is in love. More or less it will be in Pisces woman. She loves small animal and gifted in training animals. She has sixth senses and she can guess what will happen next, it's her nature. Even she has a good sixth senses, she can not pick or foreseen her own choice of lover. She can not tell if she meet a sincere guy or a one night stand guy. She likes to buy and pick her own cloths. She likes to dress cute and be cute. Pisces woman tend to be a good looking woman and she has a nice skin. Her hands and feet are small and soft. Pisces woman loves to shop for shoes as if she collects them. She is a hot lady that everyone wants her. Whether she has a man in her life or not , she will never try to over powered any man. It's not even in her thought. She thinks man can handle things better, and she will make her man feel that way. She is an easy going person, so being with her is easy. She is a confident woman and likes to make people who stay with her happy. She knows how to please and how to comfort a man. If something is wrong, she will try to make other people belief that it's must be because of someone else, not because of her love one. She will not push her man to be ambition but to make him feel like he should be happy with the way he is now. She is happy with you for what you are now. A Pisces woman , if she has a bad childhood, she will always remember it and it will make her a very unhappy person. She will pity herself and feel sorry for herself. She tends to hurt herself with out knowing it and so vulnerable to drugs (real drugs or just sleeping pills). She has many choices and you can never tell which path she going to take. If you love her , then hold her tight because she never knows why she did what she did or what she will do next. A complex character. You may think she is a shy innocent type and can not hurt anyone, then you are wrong. You might think she is a fragile person who needs protection, wrong again. She has been through a lot, a tough cookie. She is a dreamer and love the word "Love", so she is the type who will buy gift for anyone for any occasion, especially if it is a gift for wedding or an anniversary even for someone who she does not know so well. Be very careful if fall in love with Pisces woman. She can be a total different person before and after. She can be an angel before and later a witch, but everyone is not perfect, right? She will be soft and gentle most of the time, so not to worry. She is emotional and extremely sensitive when she frequently got hurt. She is the type who can cry her heart out. She can have a secret fear inside, when she says she does not need anyone. She badly needs someone to protect her, but sometimes she can hide that feeling by being stubborn. She likes to hide her shyness and her weakness from her enemy. She does not like to follow any fixed rules. She can be a good housewife if you know how to handle her. Many men will ask to marry her because she is a 100% woman. If she wants to be sweet, she is a real angels. 我變了^=。。=^
今天竟然跑去看狗飼料
什麼時候竟然喜歡小狗了
在馬來西亞以外的第二個新年我記性不好 很多事情不寫下來 就好像沒有發生過一樣 怎麼也想不起來
雖然又悶又無聊 我還是在睡前寫一些
所以說 除非你真的對我很好奇 不然還是不要浪費時間閱讀
我的網誌
不要說我沒有警告過你
嗯 新年這幾天就和大家亂走亂逛的,在家樂福 西門町 饒河夜市等等地方 排遣無聊和寂寞 越來越按不住的寂寞 做了一些人家高中就已經做事情 但是我大學才開始的 比如在遊戲中心玩一堆有的沒的 認識了一些各地的朋友 聽了一堆從來沒有聽過的語言 波蘭 俄羅斯 法國 德國 希伯來 西班牙 真是沒完沒了
嗯 寫這些流水帳 也不知道以後還會不會想起 也不懂有什麼意義
但是這些發生過的事都不知不覺中滋養我的生命 如同空氣
謝謝大家
Love isfalling in staying in and getting out
alone in a roomfinally
i'm alone in a room....
3263
and tmr this time
i'll be in another room of another group of numbers
i'm finding it difficult to pack thing up
in order to find them easily
i hv to classify them
i realise
there r lotsa things that hard to classify...
i used to bundle them altogether
but this spent me pretty much time to settle
and sometimes u'll forget them or lose them
in some cases, u know what it is
but u just can't find it
some,
u simply forget it
no matter what
they r in somewhere
just like memories
lonely winter又要搬了...
搬去寒住的房間
不知道會不會有新室友
不知道是什麼樣的房間...
wish me lucky...
嗯
之前一直堆貯的事情
我會去辦好的
從聖誕就堆著的那些... One of the reasons i can't sleepdreamt of something bad
i was packing up in a small room
someone came in
and he was trying to rape me
and someone came to save me (pity, not the one i love)
the rapist was mad at me
he grasped me and put a knife on my neck
and he cut me
cause i tried to help the man
he cut me
on my neck
i couldn't stand it, and i awoke from this horrible dream
the good thing is the rapist can't cut me anymore
the bad is that i can remember the details very well
i can still feel the cut once i closed my eyes
so
i kept lying on my bed, closed my eyes
i started to make up story
i wanted to complete the dream
i need a resolution
the rapist died
but i kept bleeding
my life was elapsing, i was dying
i was not scare
i was not sad
but i just do not like the cut on my neck
it makes me think of the cockroach i dissected in the lab
they said there is meteor shower tonightone falling star please
i need a wish to fall asleep
i have been suffering of insomnia for days
so i wait and wait
till i fall asleep beside my window
and i see no falling star
not even a piece of it
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